Dear reader
I’d like to tell you a little about myself and my childless-not-by-choice (CNBC) journey.
Although I no longer feel defined by my CNBC status, I’m starting there because that’s the main reason you are here.
I am CNBC for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, I only met my second husband later in life, which delayed when I started trying to conceive (TTC).
Secondly, it was only after my marriage to Andrew that my aggressive stage 4 endometriosis was diagnosed. Until my marriage I had zero endo symptoms. When we started TTC the only signs that something was wrong were a miscarriage, and subsequent failures to conceive. Following my diagnosis, aged 40, I had two complex surgeries performed by an endo specialist, a couple more miscarriages, and a failed cycle of IVF.
That experience left me broken and numb.
So numb that I initially didn’t realise that I was experiencing grief. I thought I was suffering from depression or stress. As a result, I was stuck in a place of denial for over five years. When I finally realised that I was grieving, I immediately felt overwhelmed by the flood of emotions that I’d unlocked.
Following that eureka moment, I realised that one of the most effective ways for me to actively grieve was through writing. I started a blog about my infertility experience. The ideas for a couple of CNBC grief related self-help books soon followed, all of which are still “work in progress”! I began to write poetry again, this time specifically about my CNBC grief, rather than poetry that had a thread of grief running through them. My first CNBC book, a collection of poetry, will be published in 2025. The other CNBC related books will be published when they are ready.
There you have it: my CNBC story in about 250 words!
However, CNBC is WHAT I am, NOT WHO I am.
What about the other aspects of who I am?
For many years I was an IT Trainer and Business Analyst. When I finally traded fulltime employment for the flexibility of being a freelancer, I decided to expand my skillset. I qualified as a Life Coach in 2004. I’m also an NLP Practitioner.
Whilst being CNBC doesn’t define me, writing does! I often say that if I were a stick of Brighton (seaside) Rock, I’d have “WRITER” printed through to my core. More books are in the pipeline including a book of poetry about the make-believe animals that distract children at bedtime and a series of story about the fairy that was born during a snow storm. The universe obviously thought it would be funny if I enjoyed writing books for children.
In addition to the books, I have several other projects planned. Updates will be share in the “Rising From The Ashes” newsletter and on this website.
As for us personally, I live with my husband, Andrew, and our four rescue pups Bailey, Duval, Nina, and Cora. Although originally from the UK we now live in Yucatan, Mexico having moved during the COVID pandemic. However, that’s a story for another time.
In support and friendship
